A Wondrous Journey of an Independent Writer!

Fear - That is the word that drives home.  I have never sent my books to a publisher due to straight out fear.  However, I had read an article out of Woman's Day Magazine about a woman who worked from home writing books.  She had put her kids through college, bought a house all through Createspace and Amazon.

I thought, wow, my mom has this little story she has always told. We should try that.  So my friend, Rebecca Hunt who drew dragons that would appeal to a child's eye, agreed to illustrate and the two of us set about creating How the Dragons Got Their Colors.  A rework of my mom's bedside story.  It was mildly successful.   We immediately got to work on a second book about the angst an older child goes through when mom is expecting and Not An Egg! was born. Later we converted them for Kindle download as well and made them part of Amazon's Kindle Select Program. 

This gave me the confidence to go ahead and tentatively put out my first Novel - Outcast.  I figured I had nothing to lose, if it did not do well, the only thing I lost was some time. There is no upfront outlay to Createspace.  I followed the forums on how to self promote as an independent author.  I got another friend to do my cover, Heather Scoggins.  I think she will be a bit surprised when she gets April's percentage that she and I agreed upon. I think she didn't expect it to really go anywhere.

Yesterday, for a time, Outcast was in the top 30 in the US in coming of age, it was #25 in the UK and had crawled it's way up to #16 in Epic Fantasy in Australia.  As I sit in amazement and wonder, the downloads of the ebook just keep rising.  I have been furiously working on the sequel per reader request.   My editor, yes I have one, pushes me constantly to re-describe and to re-work. I have him to thank in the success of Outcast as well as my own creativity and the support of good friends!

No, not all my reviews are good.  Either you love the way I describe the slow journey into adulthood and the details of culture and the intertwining of the characters or you hate it. There has been little in the way of middle of the road reviews.  Another writer told me not to sweat that, everyone has a taste for the type of books that they like to read.  If you want a frantic tale of battle and climax and a sweet ending, well I am not the writer for you.  The Blue Dragon's Geas books each have a minor climax but the main story is spread out over them.  We don't grow up over night, so I refuse to have Alador do so.

I guess the most wondrous part for me was at my day job, someone was telling me I needed to knuckle under because I "need this job."  I stood there for a moment and slow smiled.  Then I responded. "No.. actually.. no I don't." I am going to make it as a writer.  Maybe not every book will get the accolades of Outcast. Maybe not everyone will love my style.  But today, I realized Ms. McDonald, my English teacher in High School was correct.

 I was born to WRITE!

Fear of Rejection

Fear is the bane of any unpublished writer.  I have started many books and left them on the wayside. I wish I had copies of them as a few were pretty good ideas.  But I would get to that point of decision; I am either going to finish this or toss it.  I would toss it every time.  Why?  It was not that I did not think it was a good story. It was that I knew if I finished it, I would have to do something with it.  So despite teachers telling me to finish, friends... family... doing the same,  I would give up and not write for awhile.  

The problem is, I am one of those people that can't live without creating.  So I channeled that energy into roleplaying games and SCA for a time.  It was never quite the same but it eased that need to create. Overcoming this fear was the biggest hurdle in my life and I am not young.  I am a grandma, really not young.

A popular positive thinking guru taught in one of his seminars that FEAR stood for false evidence appearing real.  He went on to teach that surveys showed that people feared speaking in public more than death.  I feared rejection of my writing more than death.   Rejection and speaking in public rarely cause death.  I mean for speaking in public you pretty much have to be assassinated.  Yet this fear feels so very real, as if behind that rejection letter or that podium is a real tiger lurking. 

When I overcame my fear for the first time, it wasn't even with my work.  I took something my mother had written and with her permission reworked it.  However, when I didn't receive instant rejection, I tentatively put out a second children's book of my own.  I have a great illustrator named Rebecca Hunt that created a friendly looking children's dragon type for my work. 

Emboldened by that experience, I finished one of the many novels I had started and with great hesitation, put it out there.   It got positive acceptance.  I realize now that even if it didn't get positive acceptance, it was not the publishing of it I needed most in my life.  It was the writing of it.  When I pushed that send button to send it out into the world, I achieved a life goal.  I realized my goal was to be published,  being liked was the icing.  

I still had one real fear left.   I had to get myself out there.  I created a website, a blog and learned how to use twitter.  That done, I braved my last real fear, I stepped into a bookstore and sold myself.  I walked out with my book on their shelves and a book signing scheduled for March 22, 2014 in Omak, Wa.  The last of my huge fears had been conquered.  I could have danced all the way to my car. I might have actually.

For those still writing but not publishing, I actually recommend if you want to independently publish that you look at bookbaby.com.  I started with Createspace but that limits you to Amazon.  I have no objections to Createspace.  They have been great and supportive.  But they want to corner you into the Amazon world.  I want Nook readers to have my book too. 

I have one fear left, flying. But I have learned I can handle that one.  So, if any of you want to meet up, just find a bookstore willing to let me sign for a day and I will come where ever I am bid.  After all, it will give me more opportunities to put this last fear down as something I have overcome!!